hello little one

ldsjournal.com

hello little one.

as i pat my belly, i feel like i'm meeting you for the first time.

how quickly heavenly father answers prayers.  

the day after that blessing... i felt... different.  emotionally i felt so much closer to you.

about half way through the day, i realized the math and took a pregnancy test.  it came back as a 'maybe'.  that stinking little line was so faint, i almost thought i was imagining it.  i paced around, thought about the what if's, and gave myself the 'nah..... that can't be possible' pep talk.  

your cute daddy came home, and just as he walked through the door i thrust that little white stick at his face and asked him what he thought it was trying to say.  he laughed, a little squeamish.  we determined it wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no.  that little 'maybe stick' got us excited, and hopeful that you were near.  

your daddy held me close that night.

the next morning, he kissed me awake to say goodbye, and said 'be pregnant!' before walking out the door for work and school. 

i shot awake, and remembered about the 'maybe stick'.  as i tried another test, it came back the same.  stinking maybes.  i decided i wouldn't be able to focus on anything until i   k n e w.  

so i swung by walgreens on the way to work, and passed the maybe sticks, and grabbed a for  s u r e  stick on my way out.  

half way through work when the test finished, the word  p r e g n a n t  stared up at me and my life changed forever.  i had a grin from earlobe to earlobe.  i couldn't stop shaking.  how fitting it is that i found out at the MTC.  the same building where your daddy and i met, and where he proposed to me months later.  it's sacred ground to us.  i held that little test with that special word in my pocket all day.  i had to remember that it was real.  you are real.  you are ours.

as soon as work finished i practically ran to campus to meet daddy for dinner.  i saw his face in a lone booth across the wilkinson center and criss-crossed through tables to get to him.  he caught my eye and the world fell away.  we're parents now! he gave me the strongest, biggest hug and i showed him the test without anyone else seeing.  he hugged me tighter.  my knees have never felt so weak. 

we can't stop thinking and talking about names, how life has and will change, and how right it feels to have you in our home.  

you're ours, sweet baby.  and we can't wait to meet you.

love,

mom