Sunday, April 13, 2014

Cherry blossoms

This weekend was a special one. We got to go to virginia and see where Matt grew up. And we happened to be in dc for the cherry blossom festival. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
It was one of those things that just takes your breath away. It was so beautiful. I am so grateful for these squishes of mine. 

Life is so incredibly good.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Four months

You take everything in by seeing how it tastes

Giggles every day

You can grab at things now 

You LOVE standing up

You talk and jabber when you're tired now.

You smile at everyone! But the camera. Ha. You're curious as to what that little box is.

Started going to nursery. You love watching little kids. 
Flirted for the first time with an 8 mo old boy.
You chew on your fingers ALL day. 

Sleep from 10-6.... Napping less. Too excited to see things

You tried cereal, and squash for the first time and LOVE them. (Loved ones also snuck you chocolate, ice cream, and lemon) 

You are turning into such a sweet girl. I love talking to you and listening to you jabber back to me.

My favorite part of our day together is bending over to pick you up in the morning and you grinning back at me. Love you sweet girl.

Three months

You would eat your fingers all day if you had the energy.

You love me playing this little piggie and jesus want me for a sunbeam.
You really giggled for the first time

You Sleep from 9-7
You kick kick kick Hard in the bathtub now
Your personality is coming out more. You are such a sweet gal

Thursday, March 6, 2014

teaching love

i've thought a lot lately about things i want to share with avery.  
i want to share with her my love for good things.
how good it feels to selflessly serve others. 
what true joy is in life.
what is important and what isn't. 

i love these pictures of she and i in the blanket i bought for her from my mission on the border of mexico.
i bought it long before i knew her, and long before i even knew matt.
but even then, i wanted to include my family in what i was doing.
i want our family traditions to be smiles and service.

and it feels so good to begin now, and dive her into these traditions with us.
sorry guys, i got the best hubs.
sorry i'm not sorry.

really though, i am so blessed.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Motherly confidence: how to gain it

Motherly confidence. You see it in every TV commercial. On church benches. From your own friends, family, and loved ones. And heck, it's all over Pinterest. Pictures of confident, happy mamas and their beautiful smiling babes. Or even when their littles are crying, you see strong confident moms comforting them or teaching them the lesson they need in that moment.
And so I fully believed that the day that little babe of mine left my tummy and came into the world, motherly confidence was just part of the package deal.
Eeeerrrr...... Wrong.

At least for me.
No one ever told me I would second-guess every decision. And I would constantly feel like I wasn't the mother that I wanted to be.
It's taken me almost 3 months though to realize that I am in control of most of it and it's something that I can work on.

My goals and advice 

1- let yourself evolve as a mom.
Stop trying to be a second rate version of some other perfect mom, and instead let yourself shine out. Be a first-rate version of you. Example: I know, and have tried to be like, many a mom who when their little babe is crying out of hunger they are trying to calm and comfort them with every bit of energy they have while fixing a bottle or preparing to feed them. I felt bad for giggling when Avery does her funny fart and cry at the same time. And then I realized crying is her only way of communicating her hunger to me. And I AM fixing a bottle to feed her to comfort her. A little smiling and laughing life isn't always a bad thing. I decided to let some other persons rulebook go and just be me.

2- spend one on one time.
Because of our living circumstances around so much loving family and friends we are around a lot of people almost all the time. Which isn't a bad thing. But one-on-one time as a mommy is important. I'm learning it's okay to shut the doors and just have a date with my little baby girl. 

3- be confident in your little decisions
How can you be confident in general if you aren't confident in the little things? Funny I never saw that before today. Wowza. Be confident in your decisions for bedtime. What's acceptable and it's not. If you want to allow person to hold them. What you think they need. Or what's bothering them. If you're in the wrong, well then you're wrong. Don't be afraid to admit it and move forward. But this isn't about right and wrong. It's about learning to trust yourself. I trusted other people so much and myself so little that I let others be the confident ones and just kind of catered to them. 

4- spend extra, different, time with Heavenly Father.
HE has complete confidence in you as a mama. He hand guided that little babe into your arms. And he trusts you with it. I'm learning that spending a little bit more time listening to him, even on paper, helps erase things like doubt more than anything else.

5 – rejuvenate
It's hard to feel confident in, and fully love, being a mama if you are absolutely depleted in every way. this is where it's okay to ask for help. it's OK to have a babysitter or helping hand once in a while, consistently, in order to do a few things to rejuvenate for yourself like shower, eat a good meal, sleep, get out, exercise, feel pretty, or do something you love. your little baby deserves the BEST you. and so do you. you will be a better mama and happier with yourself if you do this.

6- let yourself be the one to comfort him or her when they're crying.
One of the hardest things for me has been seeing her cry with me, and the second someone else picks her up to comforter or to try she calms down. It eats at me sometimes. But I'm learning one, to not take it too personally. And two, to gently thank, but go somewhere private to practice comforting her on my own.

It may sound dumb. But I have found few things are more precious than cuddling my little babe. And few things are more healing to my confidence as a mother. If yours is a go-er and a do-er, and not much of a cuddler, wait till they are asleep. and maybe one naptime once in a while just hold them rather than running around to get other things done with your few moments of spare time.  It is what life is about, and it's a good opportunity to slow down and see and feel it. I really am her mama. She is different than any other baby to me. And I hope she feels different with me than any other woman.

8- get down on their level.
See the world a little bit more to their eyes. Which takes looking into them a little bit more often.

I am far from where I want to be, and can use any other advice others have to offer. but I'm working on these. And I hope this helps some momma out there to realize she is not alone, or doing something wrong. It gets better every day. 

I love that little nugget and I'm so grateful she's my little nugget.

And now I'm gonna let ya go so I can go squeeze her.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Two month aves

Eyelashes that could stab you in the face
Sweet smiles all day long
 Big blue eyes
Piggy snorts
Head rocking back and forth trying to take everything in but in reality taking nothing
Hair turning a reddish brown
She giggles now. But only when she's in the mood. And only a few chuckles.
Always picking the lint from her clenched fists
Chews on any fabric 
She's figured out how to use the G sound and the D sound and likes to use them as often as she can
Sittin in her Bumbo chair
Can say the word 'yeah'
Sleeps in a room all by herself, from 11 PM to 6 AM
couldn't ask for a better babe

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

One month peeps!

One month old Avery Jane

- can hold up her head
- hates socks
- quivers her chin
-loves finding herself in mirrors
-was baby Jesus for the Christmas party
- has LONG eyelashes
- has man burps
- loves Christmas lights
- knows mommy and daddy
-normally sleeps from 11pm to 5am
-loves head rubs
- is curious
- squeaks
- loves the color red
-is ticklish on her neck and in her armpits
- loves to cuddle
-is getting chubby
- is full of smiles
- still can't laugh

oh how we have loved every minute of the last month