Our Story

Hey y'all:

Lately I've been thinking about all the overwhelming blessings in my life right now, and I just wanted to take some time to reflect on them this morning.  For the past few months I feel I've struggled with journal writing and keeping in touch with people, and I decided this would be a good way to do both.  So,I decided today to be more determined.    

 A few years ago I looked at my life and all I was doing and just felt off.  Something was missing, and I could feel it.  I was finishing my degree at BYU-Idaho studying in the Paramedic program and working hard to do all I was supposed to do.  I decided to put God completely first in my life and knew that He would guide me down the path he wanted for me.  And that whatever He had in store for me was so much better than my plans.  I felt the prompting come to serve an LDS mission and turned in my papers.

That was hands down the best decision I have ever made.  And though I didn't begin to understand why, I felt it.

I have never been so happy. Heavenly Father has blessed me so much more than I can put in to words.  He knows my path and life so much better than I do.  I trust him.  I am so grateful for the blessings he's given me.  When I think of all the blessings in my life that are a direct result of my mission, I am overwhelmed. On top of all the joy gained from seeing others come unto Christ (as if THAT isn't enough!!) I look at the eternal friendships I have gained, and even on top of THAT (again.... as if THAT isn't enough!) I sat tonight, holding Matt's hand, and just realized how heavenly father guided me right to him.  Had I never served a mission, I'd have never worked at the MTC, and would never have met him.

I am so blessed.

 I met 'Hermano Gillon' the first week I started working at the Missionary Training Center as a Spanish teacher in November 2011, a matter of days after I returned home from my LDS mission to New Mexico.  The funny thing is I thought he was married. :) He faithfully wore this silver ring on a certain finger (I just didn't check which hand or get close enough to see 'CTR'), and on top of that, he always sat on the opposite side of the room and kept his distance.  He was very reserved. Ha. So was I! I'd been home a week or two! So.... to me he was 'Hermano Gillon' for about 4 months. We worked together and were friends.  He always said hi, subbed when I needed help, and my elders loved him.  I worked with him week after week and saw him almost every day.  Eventually I figured out he wasn't married :) but I had come to respect and admire him so much that he still just seemed out of reach.  We were just friends.

To Matt, I guess it was somewhat different.  After he returned home from his mission, he recieved a blessing stating that the Lord willed him to teach His servants at the MTC, and that by doing so he would be led to his eternal companion. He applied at the time but didn't get hired.  He went about life for a few years, then at the temple one day felt strongly he needed to reapply, did so and was hired that week.  He forgot about the blessing until our first zone meeting together.  He saw me and felt something different.... so he was a little scared and reserved. :)

I had a particularly hard time one night.  A lot of things beyond my control had become very difficult.  The next day at work, I saw matt.  I had been moved to a different zone after I recieved a new district and no longer worked around him every day, though I still work on the same 5th floor.  As I neared the stairwell, I passed him and a few other teachers I know talking in the hall.  I waved, smiled, and started down the stairs.  I got two floors down when he leaned over and called out 'Lindsay'.  I couldn't hear him clearly, so he ran down 3 flights of stairs to catch me.  When he caught up and I turned around he just said, "Lindsay, how are you doing?.... really?".  And then talked with me for ten minutes.  Even though I didn't tell him anything that was going on, I felt comforted.  He was so genuine. I felt so different.  I have yet to shake that feeling.

We started becoming good friends and talking a lot more after that.  Other guys walked in and out of my life, but no one left me feeling the same way that encounter on the stairs did.  

But I dug deeper into my callings and the temple and found peace over the next weeks. 

A few weeks later between trainings for the ER and a weekend with my family and old paramedic friends, Matt subbed for me most of the week.  As I was driving across northern utah, I got a text from him, simply saying "I love your district".  We texted back and forth for a little bit, and I thanked him for all he'd done for me.  He sent me back the most genuine message saying "Lindsay, I don't mean for this to sound cheesy, but you've already done so much more for me than you'll ever know."  We messaged back and forth all weekend about life etc.  One night, while I sat with my family on the couch in our living room watching TV, Lauren and Brittany talked with me about him, and slowly the conversation got louder until my whole family was encouraging me to give him a chance, to not be so reserved, and to let him know I cared. 

So, I texted him, saying I owed him for subbing, and to name a dessert and a night he was free.

He did much better than that.


He'd figured out my favorite ice cream, Ben and Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk, and a week later he picked me up to go hunt it down.  Haha.... Apparently they discontinued it anywhere nearby in Utah.  We drove to every grocery store in Provo and Orem, laughing and talking about anything and everything as we checked each one.  When Happy Valley failed us, we spread north to American Fork and even Lehi.  It was perfect.  I remember being truly happy, relaxed, and myself.  When he dropped me off, he came in for a minute to see if my roommate needed help jumping her car.  As we all sat talking, he eventually got up, said goodnight and snuck out the door. 


My friends and roommates teased about my 'non-date', and I wondered if there was a chance he cared.
A week later, my elders had a tradition of 'p-day eve gift exchange' ha. Silly boys. They made us draw names and matt drew mine.  I gave my Elder a silly old tie my previous elders gave me. A few days later Matt showed up on my porch with two mini cartons of my Ben and Jerry's.  What a sweet boy! He'd ordered them online. We ate our heavenly ice cream and went for a walk to find some swings.  It is always so natural talking to him and I love asking him questions and hearing every little thing in his pretty head. :) haha. When I walked him to his car that night, he gave me the best hug I've ever gotten. It just felt like home.

Nights and weeks followed in the same suit and every day I fell for him more. We talked to each other all the time.  Like a summer night walk and laying on a sidewalk looking at the stars and talking for 3 hours.  Smashing lucky pennies on the train tracks.  Driving after a hard night to the point of the mountain seeing the city lights below.  He gave my sister a blessing when she had a rough day.... He became my best friend more and more every day. 

My friend Cassie wanted to go to a concert before she left for Ghana for the summer.  So it worked out that Matt and I doubled with her and Richard in Salt lake for the night.  Matt was running on a short few hours of sleep as it had been his last day of finals.  I told him he didn't have to come, he said he wouldn't miss it.  So I told him I had to drive so he could nap.  He talked to me instead.  We walked around gateway and everything was natural and magical.  We went to dinner and our first concert. The whole night was a blast and absolutely perfect.  As we drove home, he told me he remembered seeing me for the first time and was absolutely intimidated by me.  We laughed at memories. As we neared home, he looked at me and asked, "Lindsay, do you always drive with two hands?" I laughed and thought about it, clueless, and spilled out something like "I dunno.... sometimes?".  He laughed and said, "Good, because, I want one...." :) I looked at him confused and then couldn't stop smiling as he slipped his fingers into mine.  So many butterflies! My driving skills diminished quickly and we laughed.  Thank heaven we were no longer on the freeway. haha. :) 

The night after the concert in Salt Lake, the first night he held my hand, I felt so blown away.  So peaceful.  The next morning I went to the temple, and it happened to be pday.  As I neared the doors I ran into my elders and walked across the temple grounds with them.  As we walked in, he was there, standing in the lobby.  I was blown away and it was all so peaceful.  I got all bashful and as they went to the session, I went to initiatories instead.  I finished long before they did and enjoyed some time on the temple grounds after...... it was so clear.... so peaceful.  I 'chose' him. I chose to give my heart to him and really give it all a chance.  And I felt so good about it.  I had no idea when... but I knew WHO.

The next night I invited him over to watch a movie after I packed for my week in Portland.  We laughed and hung out with my roomates and ward friends.  He smiled and as I sat next to him on the couch he slid his arm around my back and pulled me close.  As the movie finished and everyone else left one by one, eventually it was just the two of us.  We talked about being vulnerable and trusting one another and life for a few hours until curfew came around.   I hated saying goodbye.  he held me close as we both knew the inevitable was coming.  Before he let go, he said, "Lindsay..... I'm falling for you.... hard."

When I left for Portland, I started to doubt everything.... wondering how I could care so deeply about someone I hardly knew, or had just started dating.  And I was being a realist and expecting it not to work, because that's how my life goes.  Or just wondering if that is truly what I felt, what I feel. I wondered where I am in life and where I'm going, with grad school, dreams... everything! On the drive home I remember being so overwhelmed...

Somewhere in the middle of no where in Oregon.... everyone else had fallen asleep and it was just me.  As I drove through the winding curvy roads and green trees, I felt like crying I was so confused.  I finally just started talking to Heavenly Father in my head, as if he was riding shotgun.  I vented to him about feeling confused.  About wanting to do His will, wanting to do what is right.  About my feelings, and wondering what they were.  I realized as we talked, that whenever I pulled away from matt, or tried to think of all the reasons it shouldn't work..... the confusion came thick.  But the second I chose him again.... everything else fell away.  I basked in the peace for probably a good hour or so of that drive. 

.... I knew there was something more with him.

On Saturday night after We dropped Lauren off at the airport and after our shifts, We met all of his friends and then we went for a drive.  I loved his friends.  They love him so much and have been friends for years.  As we left,  we went for a drive up the canyon. We both were pretty quiet as he drove.  We finally reached the top of Squaw Peak and looked out over the valley.  As we started talking again I stopped swimming in my own head and started talking to him about what he was thinking.  He seemed vulnerable and slowly opened up. 

I kept trying not to, but I started shivering since the car was turned off.  He got all cute and protective.  He pulled out a blanket from the back and pulled me in closer.  When I asked him what he was thinking, he kept changing the subject.  We talked for an hour about different things.  When a quiet moment came, I asked him again.  He kept saying 'maybe someday'.  I smiled and poked him and asked again.... he got somber and quiet, and finally slowly and quietly said "Lindsay.... I love you."  It wasn't what I was expecting, and he said it so meaningfully the peace and warmth hit me like a wall.  I told him I loved him too and realized I meant it as much as I mean anything.

I realized I reached a point where I don't care anymore about getting hurt.  Every day all I can think about is wanting to see him happy.  To help him in any way I can. 

Since we started our bucket list together, we've had on there to watch a meteor shower.  Sunday night was supposed to have a good one, so we decided to stay up. Matt went for a sunday drive and invited me along.  We drove up the canyon to Heber and watched the sunset.  Everything was so peaceful, so good.  We both were open, and completely at peace.  We spent most of the drive up just relaxed and quiet.  When we got to the top, we got out and walked around for a minute.  But when we saw a big black shadow in the distance, I whined like a baby and jumped back in shotgun and he hopped in the back seat on my side, away from the black blob.  I didn't want some big black animal to eat us!! haha.  he slowly opened the door to run to the drivers side and I felt like a 2 year old again, asking him not to get eaten.  We laughed for ten minutes as we drove away.  My elders had teased me for months when I told them boys were scarier than bears.  So we laughed that when officially faced with one, I clung to matt. :) For whatever reason, that made us open up.  We told each other 'secrets'.  About what we were thinking at the beginning of everything.  I told him about the night Lauren my mom and Britt were sitting on the couch with me, making me text him about dessert.  Telling me to not let him go.  He told me about the night we went and swung on swings, that he came home and smiled and told his roomates he would date me.  Only to laugh an hour later when I texted him and told him he was my best friend..... his roomates laughed that he was in the 'friend' zone.  And he became reserved again.  We laughed about it all, and he held my hand and told me he loved me again.

When we got home, we watched the swan princess (poor boy) till it was time for the meteor shower.  We piled up blankets and hopped in the car.  We drove up the canyon away from the city lights and found a spot at the campgrounds.  We thought about getting out, but it was so cold, we just reclined our seats and looked at the sky from the sun roof.  As we sat, piled in blankets and pillows, it was so easy just to talk to him for hours about everything that we were thinking and feeling, and be completely open and honest.  Though I never said too much, and neither did he, I just felt unified with him.  We didn't have to say it all.  I love that boy.  I don't know how or why fully, but I do.  I love all the goodness I've seen over the past 9 months.... but it feels like something deeper, that I'm learning more about every day. He expressed something similar, and pulled me in for a hug.  I felt like crying everything felt so peaceful.  When he pulled back and looked me in the eye, butterflies swarmed in my stomach.  He'd never been that close to me before.  He leaned in and kissed me.  I just remember his lips being cold, and his hands shaking he was so nervous. 

It wasn't so much physical as it was peaceful.  Everything about that boy just feels so right!

Every day is a new leap of faith forward.  I've never felt like this before, and I have no idea what tomorrow is going to be like every day.  It's a new step into the unknown, but I feel at peace. The past few months of dating him have been different from dating anyone else I ever have.  I just feel absolute peace.  There have been some really special moments with him that I can't deny.  It just feels RIGHT.

Whatever I do with him, it all just feels comfortable and happy.  Whether it's fourwheeling, a fancy dinner date, or doing the dishes, or going to the BYU soccer game and getting thrown up on (yes..... this happened... haha :) We just laugh and everything is a memory.

A few months ago as the night rolled around after work, we decided to set up my old guatemalan hammock and relax.  We are HORRIBLE hammock setters and it turned into a taco that touched the ground when we layed in it.... but we laughed anyway. 

We talked for hours about anything and everything.  I've known he was it for me for a while, but was always too scared to bring up what that meant. Well that night, we just TALKED about it... all of it.  The what-ifs, what we felt, and finally, eventually a time frame.  We decided we didn't want to get married in december, nor mid-semester.  We eventually settled on August.... and then it sunk in.  As we walked back to the car, I turned to him and said something like, "So... I'm going to be your wife." haha. His jaw dropped and we laughed and hugged each other as it sunk in.  We were both so shocked but there was so much peace.  I know it's right, and so good. I feel like Heavenly Father is giving me more blessings than I deserve.

On June 2nd, my two year mark from when I entered the MTC as a missionary.... matt proposed .  It was a night like any other, we got off work and I started walking down the stairs and out the MTC with him to his car.  But when we got down a few floors, at the same spot he stopped me at months ago, my missionaries were there.  As I tried to shove them down the stairs to go to bed, matt got down on one knee. I started shaking when I realized what he was doing..... I've never been so happy. 

I'm marrying my best friend and other half in 13 days now. :)

Nothing has ever felt so right.
I love his goodness and optimism.  He never thinks of himself.  He is always looking for ways to serve those around him.  Whenever he is late for something I always smile and wonder what good thing he is up to.  Like passing a cute withering old man mowing his lawn and stopping to do it for him.  Or giving someone he saw on crutches a ride to campus. He is always looking for the good in life and people.  He makes me laugh and smile constantly. 
He brings out the best in me and is my absolute hero.
I can't wait for forever by his side.

I am the luckiest girl in the world. :)